Monday, January 27

Learning to Fail and Ride again

-Jan 23

I gave up,
As simple as that,
For the first time, in my entire life I gave up in the middle of a competition heat.
Ok maybe 2nd time, the first time was when I cannot catch my breath anymore in a
800m breast stroke race for competitive swimming when I was like 13 or something.
But ye, in my whole time competing for 2 seasons in kiteboarding, I gave up in the last minute of my heat.

The day before, “D Day” I gave up I had an accident involving the buoy again (which by the way happens in every single kitesurfing competition I joined, ever) I really don’t know what’s up with me, and getting tangled into buoys. This time it was different, the spot here in Indonesia was a bit of a challenge for everyone, strong currents and a really nasty shore break. I do love waves, especially with an inward current to help you get that extra push to ride a surfboard easier, but not when your 20meter lines are tangled with a buoy, and kite crashing on the shore break, kite lines around your body and in my bindings which made it very challenging for me to get those lines out of my body, after a few tears and maybe a liter of sea water down my throat I managed to get out of the situation and get my board out of my feet, I was safe back in the bay.
Whew. Talk about luck eh?
But I guess, what I had was nothing; compared to my roommate Bitna from Korea who was accidently on the way of a flying fish while she was practicing for the races, the fish went straight to her leg, causing a big hole that needed to be stitched, and to my fellow Filipino teammate Jay who got caught in one of the bigger waves outside the reef, his kite ripped apart and got caught in a strong rip current, the rescue took awhile to get to him because of the huge waves and shallow reef.

Thank god, everyone made it out safe.
There were a few more incidents that really scared the shit out of us

Including another tangling incident outside the reef and some alleged shark sightings from one of the racers.

Whew, Indonesia is truly exotic especially out at sea, being notorious for its awesome surf and also dangerous at that.

It did make me think again,
Just like the Philippines, mother nature resides in the most untouched of places around the world, with all her beauty and Wrath.

So going back to my D Day, that night (last night) I was dreaming about waves, but not the good kind, waves swallowing me in and not spitting me out.

Today, I had my last heat and when I crashed my kite with a Railey to blind attempt, what seemed to be a repeat performance from yesterday’s incident, I just said, fuck that am going in.

When I managed to get my kite up (thankfully!) I just went straight to the bay, I was not feeling it anymore, I was just scared.

I felt bad about myself for giving up but hey, we have to know our limits especially if it involves being in danger in nature’s arms.

The rest of the day I just spent listening to music, launched and landed kites for the team and at the same time packed my board bag so I can bring it back to Agro Beach Resort.

Like any other sport or activity I’ve done in the past, I fuckt it up so many times.
Some were even serious like dislocating my shoulder, getting a concussion, almost landing on the trees, things like these , but the moment these things happen I just wait it out for a bit (cry a little, for being a wimp and a whiney little girl, and being stupid sometimes) but of course always ready to just brush it all off and go again.

It is also easy for me to get scared to try new stuff when I get into a really bad crash, so I knew I had to go back and go out kiting again to keep the fear away.
Also, I had to do it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE or it would really be a difficult mental battle in the future, if I waited it out too long.

I was so keen to go back to Agro Beach Resort Right away for a sunset session to end my horrible day, nothing beats going out there on your own, no competition involved but just having fun for yourself and giving it the best you’ve got at nobody’s clock, which is what all this is about.

What I truly love about this sport is it’s some sort of religion you can do on your own (some soul searching) and also go radical on do some crazy tricks if you wish (to get some aggression out at some point). Either way, it’s perfect.

This trip has proved me two errrr three things.

1.     I don’t like racing. – because of the protests and you see people lying on their faces just to keep their winnings.
2.     I have a serious case of stage fright
3.     That I function worst when I drink instant coffee.

So what is the whole point of this whole two page article am writing?

Nothing much - just to share an experience; an experience that I am very proud to have gotten over. If you ask me, and a few other people that follow the Asian tour as well; they would say, I am very unlucky on competitions, I rarely win and usually needed rescuing, but am still here. Trying my luck and testing my limits, my patience, my character which I think most of us should do, just for some kicks, laughs, new lessons to learn, a battle with yourself, and to keep our feet on the ground; a constant reminder that in competitions, winning is not everything.  J

Kiteboarding, or boardsports in general has opened doors for me to be able to travel and meet new and amazing people from all around the world. Especially other girls.that rip, like estefania from Brazil who always helps me with me riding, she is so amazing and graceful out on her kite, and in this event I was able to ride with her in a heat which was super fun to be part of. Hihihi 

I am stoked on this opportunity that landed on my lap, on a random day. The day I started riding a board 

PS: Don’t forget to enjoy, have fun, explore, take lots and lots of photos and keep memories on your travels 

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1 comment:

airstylerscol said...

thanks for sharing that paula!
it's lovely to hear your thoughts - the ups and the downs. makes me realize even the pros are real people - and we all have ups and downs.
i'm sure you'll come back bigger and better and stronger now!!